Parody City

by Friz Frizzle

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about

25 new recorded songs from Songruiner Friz Frizzle. Join me on this half hour journey of pop culture, mangled tunes and owls.

All songs are parodies so I hope the original artists see the funny side of it.

Many thanks to friends, family and supporters. Mega thanks to everyone at The Birdcage, the entirety of Hull, Adam Kay, Alex Daily and especially Alix Alixandra, who is always a constant inspiration.

credits

released March 1, 2019

All songs ruined by Stephen Frizzle.

Cover art by Alex Daily (@heyalexdaily)

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Friz Frizzle Lincoln, UK

A comedy musician whose work has been on Radio 4 as well as a number of sell-out Fringe shows. Amazing.

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Track Name: Funky Cloakroom
I used to work at a '70s nightclub
I was in the cloakroom, I checked in all the stuff
But sometimes people left their coats behind
And if they didn't check them out, I claimed them to be mine

Aaaah
Free coat
A free coat
Track Name: ELOrgic
My pillow's empty, I need it to be stuffed
But I am allergic to feathers from ducks
Don't bring me down
No, no, no
Don't bring me down

Because I cough and I sneeze,
It sets off my allergies
Don't bring me down.

Don't bring me down
(Sneeze)
Don't bring me down
(cough)
Track Name: Drunk Madonna
I'm currently walking home from the pub
I have to admit, I am a little drunk
And then my brain tells me
I'm a little bit hungry

I'm deciding right now what I want
I break in to an Indian restaurant
And I steal all the starters
But the police caught me

It was a
Poppadom breach
I'm in trouble deep
Poppadom breach
Caught by the police

But I made up my mind
I'm keeping my bhaji
I'm gonna keep my bhaji
Track Name: Hungover Sigrid
Wake up on Sunday Morning
And I grab a slice of eggy bread
I'm in my pajamas
Take some ibuprofen for my head
All my muscles ache
I need my bed

Switch on the television
And I see a few celebrities
There's a couple of presenters
And they're exchanging recipes
And there's famous guests
Plugging their stuff

I'm tuning into Sunday Brunch
Perfect viewing as I'm pretty drunk
A bit hungover
Now there's a guy from Steps
Cooking an omelette
Sunday Brunch
Lovejoy and Rimmer are a wacky bunch
It's on for three hours
And they're drinking so much wine
For ten in the morning

Sunday Brunch
Track Name: Stereotypes
Plenty of friends, but I only like
People who fulfill their stereotypes
'Cause I am a fan of human nature

So I only like Scottish people if they're really cheap
I only like Welsh guys when they're fucking sheep
And I am only ever friends with Liverpudlians

When they go
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Eh, eh, eh
Eh, eh, eh
Calm down, calm down
Track Name: Avengers Ensemble
I watched Iron Man
Then I wrote a parody of Iron Man

My name's Bruce Banner and I am not fun
Ever since the gamma radiation
Do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
You wouldn't like me when I am angry
I increase my bulk
I'm big and I'm green
I'm mean and obscene
When I'm angry like The Hulk

I watched Iron Man 2
Then I wrote a parody of Iron Man too, as well

I'm from outer space
I'm fighting with my brother
I went into a pet shop
So I could buy a horse
I've got long flowing hair
"I like this drink, another"
Your human customs frighten me
But I don't care, I'm Thor
Hurt myself on the journey
Now I'm a little Thor

My name is Captain America
I like to fight for America
I am played by Chris Evans
No, not the DJ, the other one

The plot of The Avengers, uh huh
Is really pretty groovy, uh huh,
A bunch of superheroes, uh huh
From other different movies, n'yuh huh
Team up to stop an Asgardian villan
Who's attacking the streets with the help of some aliens
You've got Iron Man and Thor
Teamed up with the other four
They're trying to protect New York
They're up all night to get Loki
You've got Iron Man and Thor
Teamed up with the other four
They're trying to protect New York
They're up all night to get Loki
They're up all night to get Loki
They're up all night to get Loki
They're up all night to get Loki
They're up all night to get Loki

I watched Iron Man 3
That's the end of the Iron Man trilogy
Track Name: Ocean Colour CBeebies
I've got nothing to do all day
I'll sit in my PJs
Gonna sit on the sofa and watch the TV
I have a little look to see what's on CBeebies
A marathon of Teletubbies

I don't give a shit about Noo-Noo, he's not my favourite one
And I don't really care about the baby in the sun
And I do not like Tubby Toast
I hate Tubby custard the most
And I don't like

Tinky-Winky
Or even Dipsy
But my favourite Teletubbies are

Po and La-La
Po and La-La
Po and La-La
Po and La-La
Track Name: Dua Lipalahniuk
My name's Tyler Durden
People saying that I'm crazy
Out of my mind, out of my mind
Opened this underground gym so folk won't think I'm lazy
Now get in line, now get in line

There are some guidelines that you must follow
That you must follow
Please respect them or you can't come back tomorrow
Come back tomorrow

1) Don't talk about it
You shouldn't talk about it
2) Don't talk about it
That rule is quite important
3) If someone yells "stop" then the fight is over
'cause if he goes limp the fight is over for him

These are the rules of Fight Club
These are the rules of Fight Club
Don't be shit and don't act naughty
These are the rules of Fight Club
Am I Brad Pitt or Edward Norton
Track Name: I Like My Coffee Weeknd
(Cup, a cup of tea or a cup, cup of coffee)

No sure what I'm doing here but I
Only came here to use the free wi-fi
Now I'm sitting in a corner seat
And I'm writing a script on my laptop screen

Now you know what I think
I'm gonna go and get myself a drink
Maybe a nice vanilla tea
Or something with a bit more caffeine
Now I'm waiting in line
The bagels cost £3.99
That's a bit of a hefty price
But you know what, I'm gonna let it slide

(Ah, ah, ah, ah)
This coffee is hot
I'm in a motherfucking Starbucks
They got my name wrong
I'm in a motherfucking Starbucks
Track Name: Benedict XVI
We all know the current Pope is Pope Francis
He's the one in charge of religion and praise
But before him, it was Pope Benedict
2005 - 2013 was his Papal reign

Papal reign, Papal reign
Papal reign, Papal reign
Papal reign, Papal reign
Track Name: Holy Week
Oh yeah
Jesus Christ
7 Days

On my way to see my friends
Who always seem to be following me
We made plans to gather around a table
Must have been about 30AD
We made plans to eat
And the wine was my blood and the bread was my body
Little did I know
That my week was about to turn out shit

'cause I was telling parables on Monday
Judas then betrayed me on Wednesday
Was having my last supper on Thursday
Was killed on Friday
Was still dead on Saturday
Rose on Sunday
Track Name: Gay Uncle
I had a night out at the local gay scene
I bumped into a friend who had just turned 18
He introduced me to his new lover
It was my Uncle Joe
Who begged and pleaded that I don't

Tell it to my Aunt
That he's a homosexual
He only just found out that he's gay
And if I told my Aunt
She would just go off on one
So I told him that his secret's safe
Tell it to my Aunt
Track Name: Cash Converters
You wanted a new toastie maker
You didn't have the funds
And so you went down to Cash Converters to get a second-hand one
That you could pay for in monthly installments

But one month you forgot
And they thought they'd let you know
So they sent round a man
For the debt of the Breville you owe

Debt of the Breville you owe
Debt of the Breville you owe
Debt of the Breville you owe
The Debt of the Breville you owe
Track Name: FAQ or White
I had an interview last Saturday night
And they asked me about musicians I like

I said I couldn't choose between Tenacious D or White Stripes
So if you're gonna ask that question
Well, tthe answer is Jack Black or Jack White
Track Name: Lance Armstrong
Hello there, my name is Lance Armstrong
And I'm the world's fastest cyclist
You might know a couple years ago
I was going through a bit of a crisis

I claimed I wasn't doping
But they all had their doubts
They've hired pesky scientists
And now I've been found out

Urine test
Oh no
The reason that I wasn't going slow

Urine test
Oh shit!
I thought that I would get away with it

Urine test
Oh fuck
They're wanting me to piss into a cup

Not impressed with my urine test
Track Name: David Gahan
David Gahan sang the songs in Depeche Mode.
Track Name: Deep EU Something
They said
£350,000,000 a week was what we were giving
To be part of the EU

And now that the referendum's over
I feel a bit hungover
'Cause it turns out that wasn't true

So how about all of these
Brexit epiphanies
Track Name: OMC (Obtaining a Magical Creature)
It was my 11th birthday, I was given a cake
Was told I was a wizard, I'm sure that was a mistake
But Hagrid sat me down and said "You're a Wizard, Harry"
We had to pop into a shop on Diagon Alley
I had to buy a wand, which was a bit absurd
But where was it that I could go so I could buy a bird?

An Owl Bazaar.
Owl Bazaar? Owl Bazaar.
Track Name: Lookalikes
If you're having a party and want a lookalike, come to me
I've got a business renting lookalikes
From Les Dawson to Ed Sheeran to Bruce Forsyth

And at the moment
I'm having a deal
When if you buy one you get eleven free
But the only ones that I can get
Are twelve guys who look like the one out of Wet Wet Wet

Please hire my Wet Wet Wet lookalikes
Please hire my Wet Wet Wet lookalikes

Everybody needs a dozen Marti Pellows
Everybody needs a dozen
Everybody needs a dozen Marti Pellows
Everybody needs a dozen
Track Name: The Nine O'Clock News
I'm serious, that's for sure
I'm known for my stern demeanour
BBC1 and Radio 4
You've heard me in all kinds of media

I'm the voice of newsy shows
And shit like Pineapple Dance Studios

I'm Michael Buerk, I host The Moral Maze
It's a show about ethics, we don't talk about Brexit
And baby, baby, don't you know that
I'm Michael Buerk, please hire me to narrate
Ambulance documentaries,
I was on I'm a Celebrity
Track Name: All My Friends
That's great it starts with The One Where It All Began
It's followed by The One With The Sonogram
Pheobe finds a thumb in pop,
George Stephanopolous,
Ross buys East German Laundry Detergent,
Joey plays a butt double
New York Blackout causes trouble
Ross' Nan Passes Away, Underdog Gets Away

The One With the Monkey, The One With Mrs Bing
A dozen lasagnes, Rachel wants to see Chandler's thing
The One with the Candy Hearts
Stoned Guy, Two Parts
Parts One and Two

The gang play Poker, or "Joker" with a J
Ross' Monkey Gets Away
The Evil Orthodontist,
Monica gets pissed
When another woman steals her credit card,
The One with the Ick Factor, The One With The Birth
The One Where Rachel Finds Out

I memorised these just to put them in a song
How did my life go wrong

These are the Friends Episodes all in order
These are the Friends episodes all in order
These are the Friends episodes all in order
I have no life.
Track Name: 11 Secret Ace of Bases
She's wanting something nice
She fancies a quick bite

So she pops down to KFC
To get something nice to eat
But her gums are sensitive
And she doesn't eat meat
So if she can't eat chicken
And the sodas are too cold
I wonder what on earth she's going to order?
I'm gonna tell ya

All that she wants is a tub of gravy
She can't eat solids
All that she wants is a tub of gravy
A yeah-eh
Track Name: Spellcheck
Now I have to write a letter
But my idiot spellchecker
Is stuck on U.S English, what a drag

Now if I write colour or neighbour or honour or flavour then
It tells me

That I have to spell these words without a U
That I have, have to spell them all wrong
That I have to spell these words without a U
That I have, have to spell them all wrong
Track Name: Less Miserable
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye
Look down, look down, you're here until you die

Now bring me prisoner 24601
Your time is up and your parole's begun
Do you know what that means
(Yes, it means I'm free)
No, you get your yellow ticket of leave
(Oh)
601, 601, 24601
Your time is up and your parole's begun
601, 601, 24601
(My name is Jean Valjean)
And I'm Javert

There's a grief that can't be spoken
There's a pain goes on and on
Empty chairs at empty tables now my friends are dead and gone
Here they talked of revolution
Here it was they lit the flame
Here they sang about tomorrow and tomorrow never came
Phantom faces at the window
Phantom shadows on the floor
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more
(Woo)
My friends, my friends don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will sing no more

Red, the blood of angry men
Black, the dark of ages past
Tea, a drink with jam and loaf of bread
That will bring us back to, four, six, oh, one

(I dreamed a dream in time gone by)
Track Name: Fresh Blunts
West Philadelphia, was born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Just chilling out max, y'now, relaxing all cool
Shooting some B-ball outside the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
They started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my Mom got scared
She said you're moving in with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air

Well I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mear (mirror?)
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, nah, forget it, yo home to Bel Air

I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie "Yo home, smell you later"
I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Goodbye Philadelphia
Goodbye my friends
You have been the one, you have been the one for me
Goodbye Philadelphia
And Jazzy Jeff
You have been the one, you have been the one for me